Random Thoughts

Hedda Gabler

FlakeNoir said:

No wonder I'm a little sleepy. 🥱

Super job!! I still have a ways to go for mine. 

Hedda Gabler

It took me 60 words to reach genius level on the NYT spelling bee today — there was one pangram in today’s puzzle and it was my 60th word!  And that  word? 

Bathroom

GNTLGNT

...had to look up "pangram"......I haz a dumb.....

Hedda Gabler

Kurben, i had a dream with you in it. Nothing inappropriate— we were discussing British royalty!!!! 🤣

Kurben

Hedda Gabler said:

Kurben, i had a dream with you in it. Nothing inappropriate— we were discussing British royalty!!!! 🤣

I find it an honor to be part of your dreams! British Royalty in general or some special king/queen?? I hope i behaved myself..... You never know with dreams.

Hedda Gabler

Kurben said:

Hedda Gabler said:

Kurben, i had a dream with you in it. Nothing inappropriate— we were discussing British royalty!!!! 🤣

I find it an honor to be part of your dreams! British Royalty in general or some special king/queen?? I hope i behaved myself..... You never know with dreams.

We were perfectly behaved. And it was a specific monarch — but i forget who. But we solved some mystery concerning this person. I think it was female. And it was old times. 

GNTLGNT

Neesy

I cannot find any Covid thread so I guess I can post this here: They will be opening up more public places this coming Saturday.

I've had both my shots but need to wait 14 days then I can apply online for a vaccination card indicating I am safe to travel.

I probably won't travel but I plan to get that card anyway

Hope everyone is doing okay

First shot was the Pfizer and the second was Moderna

Hedda Gabler

Neesy said:

I cannot find any Covid thread so I guess I can post this here: They will be opening up more public places this coming Saturday.

I've had both my shots but need to wait 14 days then I can apply online for a vaccination card indicating I am safe to travel.

I probably won't travel but I plan to get that card anyway

Hope everyone is doing okay

First shot was the Pfizer and the second was Moderna

Good for you Neesy.  You care about yourself, your family and others.  Selfless.

Hedda Gabler

I'm trying to stay creative.  Being creative keeps me engaged.  I need to stay engaged right now.  So, I did my little story for the CG contest and I have another story I wrote years ago.  I've worked on it for years.  It is my most favorite thing I've ever written.  And I've been looking for a place to send it for a long time now. 

Any contests I find, they want you to pay to enter it.  Do I have enough confidence to pay?   I do.  But, the idea of paying.... it's not the money per se.  It's just the idea of it.  To me, the contest loses legitimacy when they make you pay.  Unless of course they are giving you something for your money.  Like a critique.  Edits.  Advice.  

Lots of places have windows to submit.  I need to check because I could be missing windows.  I'll keep looking for the right spot.

What I am getting frustrated with a bit is, people think I'm trying to write spooky.  Everyone I show this particular story to give me feedback like it's supposed to be a horror story.  It isn't anywhere near a horror story.  Not even close.  I am not trying to write spooky.  While this has a little element of unsettling in it, it is not a horror story.  It's a farm girl story.  Yes.  A farm girl story.  I love the humor. I love the visuals.  I love the story.  But everyone I let read it latches onto that one element because I read Stephen King.  I am branded in so many ways because I read Stephen King.  And no offense Stephen, but I'm getting a little sick and tired of that.

I can read and write and learn and enjoy in another language besides "horror."   Why do people pigeonhole other people?  What don't they want to see you differently?

Are you labeled the boy who hates jello salad at every family barbecue when it was just Aunt Kitty's jello salad you hated that one year?

Are you the girl who is forever known in your family as the spoiled kid, the snotty teenager -- even though you grew up to be the most generous and kind person?

Have any of you experienced being labeled as something -- and that doesn't always mean it's a bad label, just a label -- that you aren't?

FlakeNoir

Have I read this one? Did I say it was spooky too? 
Maybe I related it to real life horror? (Mine not yours) I dunno.. try me again, I've learned a lot since the old days, lived more... met nicer people. 

GNTLGNT

...I would love to read the story.....and because of my size and normal resting scowl face-leavened with a dash of my tasty sarcasm-I've been labeled a grouch and an asshole....this is true to an extent, an armor I've built up since being the tall fat kid everybody wade fun of.....I have a good side, but some never see it or don't choose to see it....even my wife wants back the man she married.....the callous grew that thick in my employment, as a survival tool and it sadly carried over....the new job will hopefully allow me to find that soft heart more often....

Hedda Gabler

FlakeNoir said:

Have I read this one? Did I say it was spooky too? 
Maybe I related it to real life horror? (Mine not yours) I dunno.. try me again, I've learned a lot since the old days, lived more... met nicer people. 

You have read it a couple times over the years. I’ve played with it for a good 10 years. On and mostly off. 

You are not one of the people who
looked at it like i was trying to write horror. 

Hedda Gabler

GNTLGNT said:

...I would love to read the story.....and because of my size and normal resting scowl face-leavened with a dash of my tasty sarcasm-I've been labeled a grouch and an asshole....this is true to an extent, an armor I've built up since being the tall fat kid everybody wade fun of.....I have a good side, but some never see it or don't choose to see it....even my wife wants back the man she married.....the callous grew that thick in my employment, as a survival tool and it sadly carried over....the new job will hopefully allow me to find that soft heart more often....

I will privately share. I want somebody to read the thing.  I love everything about it. 

Hedda Gabler

GNTLGNT said:

...I would love to read the story.....and because of my size and normal resting scowl face-leavened with a dash of my tasty sarcasm-I've been labeled a grouch and an asshole....this is true to an extent, an armor I've built up since being the tall fat kid everybody wade fun of.....I have a good side, but some never see it or don't choose to see it....even my wife wants back the man she married.....the callous grew that thick in my employment, as a survival tool and it sadly carried over....the new job will hopefully allow me to find that soft heart more often....

I don’t see any of the things you mention that you’re working on about yourself.  But i hope you feel the change as you are inspired with your new job. 

ghost19

GNTLGNT said:

...I would love to read the story.....and because of my size and normal resting scowl face-leavened with a dash of my tasty sarcasm-I've been labeled a grouch and an asshole....this is true to an extent, an armor I've built up since being the tall fat kid everybody wade fun of.....I have a good side, but some never see it or don't choose to see it....even my wife wants back the man she married.....the callous grew that thick in my employment, as a survival tool and it sadly carried over....the new job will hopefully allow me to find that soft heart more often....

I guess I've been out of the loop, amigo, did you get a new gig? I hear ya about that armor you're talking about sir. All of my elementary, junior high and senior high, I was the overweight kid that the upper class assholes spent their time making fun of and beating the shit out of me, even when I tried to fight back. But, it was always 3 or 4 on 1 which didn't bode well for me. I remember teachers seeing my shirt all rumpled or the remnants of a bloody nose while I was sitting in their class and NONE of them them gave a damn, it was just accepted back then. So, what did that translate to? A hair trigger temper, and a skin so thick a diamond tipped drill couldn't scratch it but it sure as hell doesn't leave much room for a happy place, you catch my drift? Everyone walks a different path, but I can definitely identify with having issues to work out. I think I'll always be an asshole when it comes to someone confronting me or looking at me cross-eyed, but I've gotten better, with my wife's help, of not hating most people just on general principle......It's a long road back.....Stay strong amigo, best wishes to you and your family as always sir.

Kurben

Hedda Gabler said:

GNTLGNT said:

...I would love to read the story.....and because of my size and normal resting scowl face-leavened with a dash of my tasty sarcasm-I've been labeled a grouch and an asshole....this is true to an extent, an armor I've built up since being the tall fat kid everybody wade fun of.....I have a good side, but some never see it or don't choose to see it....even my wife wants back the man she married.....the callous grew that thick in my employment, as a survival tool and it sadly carried over....the new job will hopefully allow me to find that soft heart more often....

I will privately share. I want somebody to read the thing.  I love everything about it. 

If you need a new set of eyes on your story i'm always willing. Totally up to you of course. But i would really like to read it.

GNTLGNT

ghost19 said:

GNTLGNT said:

...I would love to read the story.....and because of my size and normal resting scowl face-leavened with a dash of my tasty sarcasm-I've been labeled a grouch and an asshole....this is true to an extent, an armor I've built up since being the tall fat kid everybody wade fun of.....I have a good side, but some never see it or don't choose to see it....even my wife wants back the man she married.....the callous grew that thick in my employment, as a survival tool and it sadly carried over....the new job will hopefully allow me to find that soft heart more often....

I guess I've been out of the loop, amigo, did you get a new gig? I hear ya about that armor you're talking about sir. All of my elementary, junior high and senior high, I was the overweight kid that the upper class assholes spent their time making fun of and beating the shit out of me, even when I tried to fight back. But, it was always 3 or 4 on 1 which didn't bode well for me. I remember teachers seeing my shirt all rumpled or the remnants of a bloody nose while I was sitting in their class and NONE of them them gave a damn, it was just accepted back then. So, what did that translate to? A hair trigger temper, and a skin so thick a diamond tipped drill couldn't scratch it but it sure as hell doesn't leave much room for a happy place, you catch my drift? Everyone walks a different path, but I can definitely identify with having issues to work out. I think I'll always be an asshole when it comes to someone confronting me or looking at me cross-eyed, but I've gotten better, with my wife's help, of not hating most people just on general principle......It's a long road back.....Stay strong amigo, best wishes to you and your family as always sir.

....you and I have hiked a parallel path.....Tracy has pretty much given up on me....I just have to prove that the Scott she fell in love with, is still in there-underneath the smartass hide....my love to you guys....

doyoulove19

Hedda Gabler said:

GNTLGNT said:

...I would love to read the story.....and because of my size and normal resting scowl face-leavened with a dash of my tasty sarcasm-I've been labeled a grouch and an asshole....this is true to an extent, an armor I've built up since being the tall fat kid everybody wade fun of.....I have a good side, but some never see it or don't choose to see it....even my wife wants back the man she married.....the callous grew that thick in my employment, as a survival tool and it sadly carried over....the new job will hopefully allow me to find that soft heart more often....

I will privately share. I want somebody to read the thing.  I love everything about it. 

<<shyly raises hand>>  I would be happy to read it as well, if you want to PM me.  I used to be able to write.  I wrote poems and wonderful papers in high school.  In college, I rarely had to write a paper in my major (art) and in my real life job I don't, so when I try now, I just can't seem to get the words to flow.  But I am a pretty decent editor. 

Hedda Gabler

Kurben said:

Hedda Gabler said:

GNTLGNT said:

...I would love to read the story.....and because of my size and normal resting scowl face-leavened with a dash of my tasty sarcasm-I've been labeled a grouch and an asshole....this is true to an extent, an armor I've built up since being the tall fat kid everybody wade fun of.....I have a good side, but some never see it or don't choose to see it....even my wife wants back the man she married.....the callous grew that thick in my employment, as a survival tool and it sadly carried over....the new job will hopefully allow me to find that soft heart more often....

I will privately share. I want somebody to read the thing.  I love everything about it. 

If you need a new set of eyes on your story i'm always willing. Totally up to you of course. But i would really like to read it.

doyoulove19 said:

Hedda Gabler said:

GNTLGNT said:

...I would love to read the story.....and because of my size and normal resting scowl face-leavened with a dash of my tasty sarcasm-I've been labeled a grouch and an asshole....this is true to an extent, an armor I've built up since being the tall fat kid everybody wade fun of.....I have a good side, but some never see it or don't choose to see it....even my wife wants back the man she married.....the callous grew that thick in my employment, as a survival tool and it sadly carried over....the new job will hopefully allow me to find that soft heart more often....

I will privately share. I want somebody to read the thing.  I love everything about it. 

<<shyly raises hand>>  I would be happy to read it as well, if you want to PM me.  I used to be able to write.  I wrote poems and wonderful papers in high school.  In college, I rarely had to write a paper in my major (art) and in my real life job I don't, so when I try now, I just can't seem to get the words to flow.  But I am a pretty decent editor. 

And you others, Oh my gosh. I wasn't expecting anyone to want to read anything I wrote.  I so appreciate all of your support -- but I've gotten a little shy about it now!  I just need to find a little bit of faith and courage and I'll share. 

FlakeNoir

Hedda Gabler said:

FlakeNoir said:

Have I read this one? Did I say it was spooky too? 
Maybe I related it to real life horror? (Mine not yours) I dunno.. try me again, I've learned a lot since the old days, lived more... met nicer people. 

You have read it a couple times over the years. I’ve played with it for a good 10 years. On and mostly off. 

You are not one of the people who
looked at it like i was trying to write horror. 

Well sh1t, that's it. I'm officially old because I cannot remember details at all... just a feeling.  😔
Please flick it through to me again? I want to do a re-read. 

Also... f'k you Alzheimer's.

GNTLGNT

Marsha

Hedda Gabler said:

I'm trying to stay creative.  Being creative keeps me engaged.  I need to stay engaged right now.  So, I did my little story for the CG contest and I have another story I wrote years ago.  I've worked on it for years.  It is my most favorite thing I've ever written.  And I've been looking for a place to send it for a long time now. 

Any contests I find, they want you to pay to enter it.  Do I have enough confidence to pay?   I do.  But, the idea of paying.... it's not the money per se.  It's just the idea of it.  To me, the contest loses legitimacy when they make you pay.  Unless of course they are giving you something for your money.  Like a critique.  Edits.  Advice.  

Lots of places have windows to submit.  I need to check because I could be missing windows.  I'll keep looking for the right spot.

What I am getting frustrated with a bit is, people think I'm trying to write spooky.  Everyone I show this particular story to give me feedback like it's supposed to be a horror story.  It isn't anywhere near a horror story.  Not even close.  I am not trying to write spooky.  While this has a little element of unsettling in it, it is not a horror story.  It's a farm girl story.  Yes.  A farm girl story.  I love the humor. I love the visuals.  I love the story.  But everyone I let read it latches onto that one element because I read Stephen King.  I am branded in so many ways because I read Stephen King.  And no offense Stephen, but I'm getting a little sick and tired of that.

I can read and write and learn and enjoy in another language besides "horror."   Why do people pigeonhole other people?  What don't they want to see you differently?

Are you labeled the boy who hates jello salad at every family barbecue when it was just Aunt Kitty's jello salad you hated that one year?

Are you the girl who is forever known in your family as the spoiled kid, the snotty teenager -- even though you grew up to be the most generous and kind person?

Have any of you experienced being labeled as something -- and that doesn't always mean it's a bad label, just a label -- that you aren't?

Hope I wasn't one of those who thought it was just horror, too, although I don't remember any of those details. Will gladly volunteer to read if you would like feedback.

GNTLGNT

Hedda Gabler

Late last night and the night before, tommyknockers, tommyknockers knocking on my door. I wanna go out, don't know if I can 'cuz I'm so afraid of the tommyknocker man.