Ka-tet Cantina 2020

Kurben

Hedda Gabler said:

Have a good December. I know this time of year can drag people to the gates of hell, but try, try to find the fun. If you are a gift giver, your budget might be tight, but really think about the gift you are giving and HOW you give it. 

For 38 years, my mother-in-law would ask me what I wanted for xmas. And, not one for playing the tedious don’t-get-me-anything game, for 38 years I would tell her. “Get me a B & N gift card.” And for 38 years, she would buy me some random gift that was so “not-me.” 

And, right about now some wise sage out there is saying, “It’s the thought that counts,” and I will say back, “Yes, it is, when the thought is thoughtful.” When you get a Walmart, dollar-bin Genesis cassette of songs you have never heard of, ever, (as a joint gift no less with your husband), you either look at that as a shit gift or a strategic business move. Fifty cents apiece — score! That’s the thought that went into that. 

Come on. It’s a shit gift, people. Why bother at all? But, she could’ve taken my fifty cents and bought me a candy bar and I would have been pleased. Honest. 

So, if you are spending fifty cents or hundreds on a gift, really think about the recipient — who they are. If you don’t care, why are you buying them a gift? Start adulting, okay? Have the balls to tell people, we are not exchanging gifts and stick to it! Don’t let them guilt you when they show up with presents. Say thank you and have a happy day. And the ones you do buy for? Make it fun. No matter your budget, get creative in the giving. Package it unexpectedly. 

Please don’t say, “it’s not much”… as you sad-face hand them the present. Please don’t just throw an envelope in their lap. The smallest effort makes it memorable. 

My love and playfulness for Christmas came from my dad. The biggest kid of us all. I miss him. I had to teach my husband how to properly Christmas because he came from a family that was sour and bitter and hateful. And I safe-guarded my children from that bah humbag nonsense and passed on the joy of being silly.

My best gift every year? It isn’t the thing. It’s the creative, gleeful effort I see in the faces of the givers.

Be. Playful. 

Merry Christmas or Happy Wednesday!

Or Happy Tuesday! Here in Sweden we always celebrate chistmas on Christmas Eve, the 24,th, and not the 25,th. I wonder how common or uncommon it is....

Hedda Gabler

Oh golly, sorry. I’m so selfish not to think of others’ customs and days! I just forget we are from all over. My apologies guys. 

GNTLGNT

not_nadine said:

I'll be heading back down to the Keys in a few days.  Really looking forward to this:

....with complimentary iguanas falling on yer melons....

GNTLGNT

....well said on Christmas Deej....I took such reasoning to heart this year, because in the past I was buying elaborate gifts for Tracy and she wasn't able to reciprocate because I buy myself shit all year long, so she had no idea what to do for me.....since I get her wants and needs as we go along, and we are getting inside renovations done to the house, this year....stocking stuffers only and I have abided by it....yeah, some are a bit big to stuff in the sock, but I stuck to the rules....big deal for me, because I love her  tons, and that showering her with goodies is a way to show her how much, but really listening to what she wanted to do is much better.....

Hedda Gabler

GNTLGNT said:

....well said on Christmas Deej....I took such reasoning to heart this year, because in the past I was buying elaborate gifts for Tracy and she wasn't able to reciprocate because I buy myself shit all year long, so she had no idea what to do for me.....since I get her wants and needs as we go along, and we are getting inside renovations done to the house, this year....stocking stuffers only and I have abided by it....yeah, some are a bit big to stuff in the sock, but I stuck to the rules....big deal for me, because I love her  tons, and that showering her with goodies is a way to show her how much, but really listening to what she wanted to do is much better.....

 Exactly. Good for you.  If we pay attention to the person — really pay attention — the simplest things can make someone giddy.  And of course, you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings when they hand you something that just isn’t you. At all. You thank them and it gets put away. 

 If you’re my sister-in-law, you loudly make sure the giver knows you hate the gift and will return it  and you do so fast as you possibly can. That pisses me off in another way. She is the rudest thing with absolutely no manners or filter.  No class at all. And why I quickly told my brother and his family years ago: we aren’t exchanging presents and he latched onto that idea and we honored it. 

And it has been great. Save time, money and hard feelings. 

My husband 20 years ago bought me a watch covered in real diamonds. Couple thousand.  I told him I loved it and made ooo ahhh noises, but inside I was so sad about it. He obviously didn’t know me at all.  I’ve worn it one time and now it sits in a safety deposit box. 

I am NOT a jewelry girl. At all. I have pieces I wear every once in a while, but pretty much, ear studs is it.  I have a friend who spends thousands on jewelry constantly and she wears every damn piece of it. Every finger including thumbs have rings. Multiple necklaces layered like Mr T . Bracelets up both arms.  Shit, if a robber waited for the right moment, they could bean her in the head and walk away with thousands. 

My point — a gift that says I pay attention is love. She would be thrilled with the RIGHT jewelry. I would have been thrilled with a book purchased knowing me. Not just any book though. A book that told me, “they know me.”