Quotes, sayings and all that jazz

Notaro

"In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this lavatory"

Les Dawson.

EdwardJohn

"A man's real possession is his memory. In else he is rich, in else he is poor."

Alexander Smith

Out of Order

“Hand me that piano.” ~ George Carlin

GNTLGNT

“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”
—Betty White

Hedda Gabler

"Never hate your enemies.  It affects your judgment."  

Michael Corleone.

GNTLGNT

“I saw a study that said speaking in front of a crowd is considered the number one fear of the average person. Number two was death. This means to the average person, if you have to be at a funeral, you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
—Jerry Seinfeld

Hedda Gabler

Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.

David Sedaris

Hedda Gabler

"If it takes a hen and a half, a day and a half, to lay an egg and a half, how long does it take a one legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? 
What are you gonna say, two seconds, two minutes, two days?  Completely boring compared to that question.

When you explain things you rob them of their mystery.  Questions are far more interesting than answers.   
You know, there's no meaning to the universe. You may say it is our job to give it meaning.
But that is for our amusement. The universe could care less."



Mason Williams -- California Typewriter

GNTLGNT

Hedda Gabler

You and me both baby.  You and me both.

GNTLGNT

“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”– Lana Turner

Notaro

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to".

W. C. Fields. 

GNTLGNT

 “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

– Martin Luther King, Jr.

Hedda Gabler

"There's only one way to run away from your own story, and that's to sneak into someone else's."

--January Scaller

GNTLGNT

"No."
Rosa Parks

Neesy

GNTLGNT said:

 “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

– Martin Luther King, Jr.

Double awesome

GNTLGNT

,,,we here are all quite intelligent then.....

Hedda Gabler

"Every day is a gift.  But does it always have to be socks?"

Tony Soprano

GNTLGNT

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman

GNTLGNT

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
Charles M. Schulz

Hedda Gabler

When something goes wrong in your life, just yell "plot twist" and move on.

GNTLGNT

“WebMD is updating its server because of a virus. Well, they think it was a virus, but it could also be malaria, kidney failure, a heart murmur, gallstones, or possibly appendicitis.” —Crystal Lowery 

Hedda Gabler

GNTLGNT said:

“WebMD is updating its server because of a virus. Well, they think it was a virus, but it could also be malaria, kidney failure, a heart murmur, gallstones, or possibly appendicitis.” —Crystal Lowery 

And if it lasts longer than 4 hours, just yell “plot twist !”

Notaro

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering, and it's all over much too soon." 

Woody Allen

GNTLGNT

Hedda Gabler said:

GNTLGNT said:

“WebMD is updating its server because of a virus. Well, they think it was a virus, but it could also be malaria, kidney failure, a heart murmur, gallstones, or possibly appendicitis.” —Crystal Lowery 

And if it lasts longer than 4 hours, just yell “plot twist !”

....but only if you play a doctor on TV after staying at a Holiday Inn Express....